Hey you,

I’m really glad you made it back for Part 2. And if you’ve just stumbled across this on social media—welcome! You might want to start with Part 1, where I share some reflections on my younger years that might resonate with you.

Now, let’s get into it. I’m continuing with the things no one ever told me about sex—the honest, sometimes uncomfortable truths I wish I’d known sooner.

I’m writing this and getting emotional, because I wish I knew then what I know today. That’s really why I’m sharing this. If even one young woman reads it and avoids some of the mistakes I made—if she holds onto her standards and trusts God just a little more—then it’s worth it.

I keep thinking: who might this reach? Who could this wake up, or gently nudge onto a better path when it comes to relationships?

Dating with intention is so important for your future—especially as women. Whether people like to talk about it or not, we do have a biological clock that doesn’t pause. And if you desire marriage, a healthy relationship, and a certain kind of life, then moving with clarity and intention really matters.

We should be dating to discover, not just to feel.

Feelings can be deceptive. They’re powerful, but they’re not always reliable—and they definitely don’t last on their own. When we’re younger and still growing, it can be hard to separate what we feel from what’s actually real. So, when we rely only on emotions to guide our decisions in dating, we can end up overlooking things that truly matter.

Looking back at my twenties, I wish I had taken the time to truly discover the people I was dating. I ignored a lot of what I was seeing because I was so caught up in how I felt. In a way, those experiences were necessary—they woke me up. They helped me realize that discernment is a gift, and it’s there to guide us, not to be ignored.

So to any woman reading this: take your time getting to know someone’s values, their character, and their long-term vision. That’s what really matters. It will show you whether you’re truly aligned.

Now, let’s talk about chemistry.

Chemistry is beautiful. It’s that intense attraction, emotional connection, and mental stimulation all wrapped into one. It’s the butterflies, the spark, the excitement that pulls two people together. And yes—it feels amazing.

But chemistry alone isn’t enough.

It might start the fire, but it doesn’t sustain the flame. Real, lasting relationships are built on deeper compatibility, strong communication, shared values, and intentional effort. That’s what keeps things going long after the initial spark fades.

Another thing that matters—a lot—is understanding someone’s intentions.

Why are they dating? What are they actually looking for?

There’s a clear difference between someone who sees a future with you and someone who doesn’t. And the truth is, if you pay attention—not just to what they say, but to what they do—it becomes very clear.

One thing I’ve learned is this: when two people have aligned intentions, the relationship has space to grow in a healthy direction. That doesn’t always mean you’ll end up together, but it does mean you’re less likely to walk away feeling blindsided or heartbroken.

Sometimes, two people can want the same things and still not be right for each other. And that’s exactly why I believe in taking things slow and steady when dating. There’s no rush. When you move with intention, you give yourself the clarity you need—and you protect your heart along the way.

I believe that not rushing into bed is one of the best ways to protect your energy. Why? Because it gives you the emotional and spiritual safety you need to avoid unnecessary attachments and confusion. It allows you to move through the dating scene without compromising your peace. And like I mentioned in Part One of this blog, “sex clouds judgment.”

Waiting gives you clarity over temporary feelings. It helps reveal someone’s true intentions and keeps you from being led by physical attraction alone.

Ladies, having sex without commitment is your prerogative. But when you’re serious about finding your life partner, I believe starting a relationship rooted in lust can make it easier for things to fade if there’s no real substance underneath. I’ve learned that when two people are aligned and committed to each other, there’s a deeper level of trust and vulnerability. You feel safe to open up. There’s no fear of being used or discarded, because that person has chosen you as a priority, not an option.

And honestly, the emotional and spiritual connection is stronger. Intimacy becomes more meaningful—and definitely more fulfilling. I truly believe that alignment in values enhances the experience… and who doesn’t want an amazing experience?

Temporary connections can bring passion without direction, often leaving behind emotional residue and confusion. But intentional connections? They build trust, clarity, and shared goals. They leave you feeling grounded and valued—and if I’m being real, that’s the biggest turn-on, at least for me.

If I could sum up what I wish I knew about sex earlier, it would be this: sex can connect you to someone more deeply than you expect. Not everyone deserves access to you in that way. And waiting isn’t about restriction—it’s about alignment and self-respect.

My final message to you is this: you don’t have to follow what everyone else is doing. It’s okay to move differently. It’s okay to honor your values. And while you’re dating, keep checking in with yourself by asking: “Does this person align with the future I want?”

At the end of the day, sex is powerful—and who you share it with matters deeply. The right connection won’t just feel good in the moment… it will feel right for your life.

With love, Keemah G.