Dear Men 4 – Women Support Your Peace But…

Hello Readers,

I’m back again with Part 4 to the series “Dear Men”. 

In this series, I write letters to men regarding all things relationships, expressing the perspective of a woman. 

I write these letters with the intention to help bridge the gap between the gender wars that society and mainstream media created throughout many communities, in particular the black community. 

In parts 1-3 , I write about how many women aren’t against men, submission, and being lead by their man (husband). 

If you’re joining for the first time, check out Parts 1-3, and get back to this post, if not, let’s continue on to part 4. 

Dear Men (Part 4): Women Support Your Peace but…

unfortunately, we are not your peace. 

Over the last decade, I’m sure you guys have heard it as much as I did, that a woman needs to be her man’s peace. Whether it be a podcast conversation, or an interview on relationships, it often tends to come up, and I think it’s misleading in so many ways.

My beloved men, we definitely would love (if I can speak for the good woman out here) to support your peace of mind, however, that responsibility of being your peace is impossible.

I believe that being a man’s peace is giving a woman a goal that’s not attainable; because peace comes from within—and if you’re a believer, it comes from a man’s relationship with the Lord, and your woman can never be your God.

I also trust that giving someone that responsibility becomes quite co-dependent; it creates an imbalance in the relationship, and we all know that an imbalanced relationship only leads to destruction. 

Furthermore, I believe that the responsibility of creating a person’s peace only allows that said person to be less accountable for their own mental wellness.

I believe the goal of any relationship should be: how can we both make life simpler for one another. With this mentality and reciprocity, it’s easy to support our partners peace of mind. 

Men, I can speak for myself and the women I know, we love a peaceful, self-controlled man. And, on the days where the peace isn’t present, and you lose control because life is lifing; we aspire to be the ones you come home to, to lay your head down on our laps, and pour out your thoughts. 

We have no problem being your third eye, as long as you trust us enough to let us in. We don’t think of you as weak for doing this either, but instead, we see you as a man who is aware of himself, and accountable for his state of mind. 

We may not always be spot on with the support you may need in the moment; we ask for grace every once in a while, knowing that we don’t mean you any harm. We only need to be informed, in order to grasp how to support your needs in the moment. 

Overall, I believe that the notion of being a man’s peace is misleading, as it’s not doable. However, supporting his peace, and being a safe space for him to unload some of the weight of the world he’s carrying on his shoulders, is definitely what we as woman should aim to be for our man. 

Men, we got you, or shall I say, dear future husband, I got you—I just can’t be your peace; peace comes from within. It’s work that you as the leader need to accomplish; and I’m here all day to support you winning in all that you do!

Love Kee