Dear Men 2 – Most Women Want to Submit

In the first blog post of this series, I spoke about women not being the enemy of a men. In truth, I believe that the media, and society, have done a great job at depicting this notion,  and it has only caused division in relationships. 

I share with you my sentiments on cultivating effective communication between men and women, and how being considerate to our partners needs helps foster healthier relationships.

If you’re just joining this series, I want you to know that this isn’t a bashing monologue on men; it’s a place to gain the perspective from a woman. My hope is to create a dialogue to help build a better understanding in relationships, instead of the constant waring between genders that the media and big mouths in society have worked so well at creating.

Dear Men (Part 2): Most Women Want to Submit

I have not been able to listen to any podcast/interview on relationships these days without hearing the word, ‘submission’, and what usually comes with this word is, “women”. 

The media and society have been good at creating the blame game for why there is such a high rate of failed relationships that it can be so easy to get caught up in the rhetoric—instead of objectively looking at the entire situation when it pertains to relationships in today’s world. 

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard, “Women don’t like to submit”. It’s  literally impossible to keep track. However, what I know to be true about myself, and many other women that I have spoken to over the year, is that most women want to submit.

I believe that submission is a beautiful aspect of a relationship between a man and a woman. It’s the highest level of trust and respect a woman can give to a man. I know that when a woman submits to a man, she’s giving her most vulnerable self to him. Her submission is letting him know that she has faith in him, and his mission. She is basically saying without words, that she believes in him, and she is placing the direction of their relationship in his hands, as he leads. 

Men, a good woman that understands the true nature of her role in a relationship has no problem submitting, but she will not submit to a man just because he is a male. I can’t speak for every woman, but for the good woman that I know and have met, they want to know that if they’re going to follow a man’s lead, that he will give a serious commitment and he won’t lead them astray. Which is only fair considering she’s surrendering to his plan for their relationship, she’s giving up a part of her own desires, trusting that he will be wise to consider her in the plan. 

Men, women need to be reassured through actions. This is how a woman will trust you, and once the trust is established, you’re guaranteed to get a submissive woman in your life. Nevertheless, if a man wants to be inconsistent, self-centered, lack discipline, come to the union with no mission/vision for the foreseeable future, and lack the proper leaderships skills, they’ll be guaranteed a woman in their life that will struggle to trust them, and this will eventually create insecurities in the union, which is never a good situation in a relationship.

Now, if you are still putting the pieces of your life together, but you are certain of your mission, have clear vision, are committed to invest in creating a life with someone, and have demonstrated proper leadership, with a serious commitment—women will gladly submit. 

When we speak of a woman being submissive to a man, most people take the concept from the Bible. In Ephesians 5:22 (KJV), it is written, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord”. The “wife” part is what many people tend to leave out when the discussion of women not being submissive comes up—if we’re going to use a text from a biblical stance, we can’t just use parts of it and leave out the rest. If people are using the scripture to validate why women should be submissive, then they need to make her a wife first. 

I heard many men express that they need to see first if a woman can be submissive before making her a wife. However, for me that’s either manipulative behaviour, or the man is afraid to get hurt. 

There are many ways to determine if a woman can be a submissive wife; such as simply observing her, her environment, relationships and how she responds to challenging situations, and then you can see someone’s daily walk, and it can determine whether she fits your idea of a wife. 

Men, a good woman wants to submit, and she will when you invest in yourself, in her, and you make your relationship a priority.

I can write more, but please remember, it’s a blog not a book.

Love, Keemah G