Fear can be a very dangerous virtue that keeps us stuck in life and discourages us from ever going for what we want in life.

Growing up I was fearless, fearless to go for what I wanted in life. Whether it was love, something I was passionate about, or even just believing the impossible, I was always up for the challenge. I loved the thrilled of putting an idea in my head and then making it happen and doing it well, at that. I never worried about the outcome I only thought about the bigger purpose. If you said I couldn’t do it, I would prove it to myself that I could, by letting my ideas come to light. I was stubborn when it came to people telling me I couldn’t do something, or the doubt they were giving away when I told them my ideas or ambitions.

The moment someone would doubt my ideas or tell me, “No you can’t do that”, I would be like, “Ya, watch me”. That fearless young lady, was unstoppable at a point of time. Fearless at being imperfect, but real and courageous!

I say that fearless lady because at the age of 27, some of my fearless virtues turned into fears. Fears that would keep me complaisant and stuck in my life. I wasn’t growing and I wasn’t living, I was just simply alive. I’d stop dreaming, I’d stop going for what my heart desires and I was just fearful all together. I could empower others, but for myself I didn’t feel to empowered at the time.

In the last few years I had to ask myself, “where did I go”, “how did I let my fears cripple me and why has it been taking me so long to get back to the fearless being that I am.

I said this before, “to go forward sometimes you need to go back”, and analyze areas in your life and maybe you might just find the answer.

And guess what your home girl did, she went back and found the answer.

I understood that it was my negative experiences and the lack of faith that made me lose my courage and as a result, it crippled my true self.

I believe when they say that out of any virtue courage is the most important one, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtues (I believe Maya Angelou said this one, not too sure though!) –and I completely agree. Once I lost my courage I lost my fearless qualities and completing my goals and my heart desires became a struggle.

One example I am going to use are relationships.

Relationships was something I wasn’t afraid to do, I was open to try, and take the risk, so I put myself out there and wore my heart on my sleeves. Some will say wearing my heart on my sleeve is a dangerous thing to do, I however disagree now looking back. Why? Because I believe if I can handle and accept that the relationships may not go the way I expect it to go, I wouldn’t hesitate to try it out. I would take the chance to see where it g would go, but a few years ago I had a hard time doing so, and it stems from my negative experiences.

I let my negative experience and the fucked up ways of others get the best of me, and it gave me the worst thing ever in life –fear.

Fear that crippled me from being my authentic self, afraid to be who I was because I felt like everything that was done to me was a result of something I needed to change. That’s not true, I learn to understand in majority of the situations, it actually a reflection of how these people feel about themselves.

I learned that most of the time fear is a built up from your experiences and what we see going on in the world. I also had to understand that fear is normal and to own it when it comes my way but to try to not make it cripple me from going for my goals, aspirations and heart desires. Has it been easy? No. I have to practice ridding my fears every day, until I master being fearless.

I do this because I know that this quote is true: “God places the best things in your life on the other side of terror”. ~Will Smith

And if I want to receive all the best things in life that God has for me, I have to let go of fear, I have to get back to being my authentic self and I can’t let me experience of the behaviours of others define me or impact my life.

Learn to let go of your fear – from my journey to yours.

Keemah G