If someone were to tell me seven years ago when I called Ms. Verna in tears telling her I wanted to begin the process of healing, that it would’ve been a rollercoaster ride, I would’ve told them they were a liar. 

I would argue this based on the preconceived idea I developed of what it truly meant to heal. I thought that once I was in the process of healing, I would no longer have these same struggles. Basically, the moment I began to discover how my past traumas played a significant role in my present life, I felt like I was healed and delivered from all the pain of the past. 

Looking back now, I can say that it was so naïve of me to think this way. I’ve learned that there is a process to healing and that throughout that process, it can become a rollercoaster ride of emotions. For instance, one day I would feel like I conquered a specific situation from my past but when it happened to resurface in a conversation, I realized that my reaction or response to the situation was the same as when I was broken.

This made me understand that while I had acknowledged the pain of the situation, I still hadn’t let it go. Like I understood and acknowledged before: letting go is imperative to the healing process. 

I had many days like this until I finally got tired and intentionally made the efforts to respond differently when things from the past came up. I even made a constant effort to change my thoughts on the events of my past. So, when past events would linger in my thoughts, I would literally be like, “let it go Kee, move on Kee, these people ain’t dwelling over the pain they caused you Kee…, forgive yourself Kee”! 

Let me tell you, this became an everyday routine until I needed to do it less. The more I changed my thinking and meditated on moving forward, it helped me let go and reach a higher place of healing. 

I knew that healing was important and I knew why I needed to heal. I just didn’t know that it would be such a strenuous road. There is a process to healing and some parts of the process can take longer than others. However, committing to the process is what helped me to persevere through the hard times and reach a place of healing. It truly is: a journey!

This is for the person who feels like they’re struggling mentally with the process—know that you’re not alone and the fight is in the way you process your thoughts 

Fom my journey to yours,

K.G