I Knew I Was Growing When I Didn’t Clap Back

Hello Readers, 

I hope you enjoyed last week’s blog post! Let’s get into this week’s post.

I Knew I Was Growing When I Didn’t Clap Back

In 2017, my friendship with a person I knew for over twenty years came to an end; and I have to say, it showed me how far I was coming along on my journey. 

On the first day of fourth grade, I walked into school and saw her standing there with her mother. My cousin and I went straight up to her and introduced ourselves. From then until 2017, we maintained our friendship; and like many friendships we had some highs and lows. Some of our highs included sleepovers, holidays spent, girl’s night, amazing road trips and vacations, showing up to support in a time of need, a listening ear- we have definitely been through a lot together. Then there were the low moments that included backstabbing, deceit, insecurities, lack of support, and arguing. 

We were young girls that unfortunately came from broken homes, and it was showing up in our friendship—at least in our younger days. Not to say too much, since this is in the past, and isn’t relevant to the person’s current character (I’m assuming); many of the lows were due to her backstabbing, deceit, insecurities, lack of support, and my need to always let it be known to her, that led into arguments. 

Some would ask me how I stayed friends with her for so long despite all of the drama. In retrospect, it was my abandonment issues, my misconception of forgiveness, and not wanting to give up on the people I loved. Overall, she wasn’t a good friend since she was quite self-indulged and selfish at times growing up, and she would agree to this statement too, because we had this conversation in the last years of our friendship.

When my Grandmother died in 2013, she stepped up. We became the closest we’ve ever been in years. We got through things in the past and we had some very vulnerable conversations. In these conversations, she let me know of her issues with me in the past, and she admitted certain things about her behavior in the friendship growing up— this gave me a deeper understanding of her actions. 

After getting through the past, I really felt like our friendship was where it was when we decided to call each other best-friends 24 years ago. I believed we were finally getting to a place in our womanhood where we were building a real sisterhood. It’s also fair to say that we were both at a low place in our lives. She was discovering what to do with her life, and ending her night life, and I was mourning. We were both at a place where major changes were happening, and we cling to each other for support. This was one of few times in our friendship where the support was reciprocated on her part—it was a healthy balance. 

In 2017, things took a turn, and our friendship started to regress. I was no longer trusting her like before, and I made the mistake of not letting her know, as I didn’t think she was mature enough to have the conversation. 

She was upset with me because I didn’t tell her something that she felt she should know. As a result, we stopped talking for two weeks. We ended up speaking, hashing everything out again. I thought it was the last and final breakthrough moment of deep understanding that our friendship needed to heal, and then she crossed another boundary.  

I addressed it before leaving on my cruise to the Caribbean, and told her I loved her. I didn’t call her when I returned, and she didn’t call me to see if I returned back safely (something we always do). The silence rang loud in our friendship. But, for the first time, I wasn’t in any of my feelings about it, I rolled the friendship over to God and said, “You do what you want with it”. There were absolutely no disheartening feelings towards her, and if she had called, we would’ve had a great conversation as usual. I just gave up drama!

Well, following my return from my cruise, she started to post subliminal messages about our friendship online. People questioned me about our friendship as a result, and again—I rolled it over to God. 

Her mother, the only person I ever called “Mom”, because of the high level of respect I had for her, turned to Facebook and wrote something demeaning about me. This came as a complete shock. This is when I started to remove them from my social platforms, as I didn’t want to engage in the immaturity. To know a grown woman like her mother always felt a certain way about me, only made me see how spiritless she was, and why her daughter behaved the way she did over the years. 

Then, the icing on the cake, was when she went on Instagram, and told people (whom I never met) to unfollow me. She was able to do this because some of my followers came from her posting my quotes at times to help build my brand. 

All of this happened because no one called each other after my vacation. 

I didn’t react to her or her mother, nor did I volunteer any information about her when people on Instagram wrote me, and told me she asked them to unfollow me. They wanted to know content of her character. I refused to give the situation any of my attention, because I was no longer participating in the immaturity and drama. I wanted to put an end to toxic friendships, and the only way I would be able to remove the noise was to remain silent –I was tired.

This is when I knew I was growing— I didn’t clap back. 

I wasn’t going to call and question her subliminal posts, or her contacting people about me, or correct what she was saying about me to others; I just refused to engage. 

If I were still at those unhealed stages of my life—when I was quick to pop off; while they went low, I probably would’ve went to hell with what I was going to express. But, in that moment, I realized that that energy no longer lived within me. I was at a place in my life where I became very intentional with the company I kept, so I no longer wanted to subject myself to friendships that require this kind of energy. If I had to lose the connection to avoid compromising where I was reaching in my journey, then so be it. 

I learned a lot from our friendship. It was evident through this situation that the lessons I learned at that point in my healing journey were being applied to my life by the way I responded to it. I no longer had that fighting spirit in me when it came to friendships; it’s either we’re going to mature, or we can just let go and let God—and in this situation, I let go, and let God.

It felt good to know I was growing, but it also felt uncomfortable; I was letting go of my home girl, a person I shared so much with over the course of my life. Looking back, I know for sure letting go was necessary for my journey, and it’s where God wanted to take me spiritually, so I have no regrets—just lessons learned.

From my journey to yours

KeemahG

17 thoughts on “I Knew I Was Growing When I Didn’t Clap Back”

  1. During the cycle, Anavar is used at a dose of 50mg per day,
    whereas Masteron is used at a dose of 400mg
    per week. Testosterone is used just for help
    and never as an anabolic agent, with a weekly
    dose of 100mg. Anavar is thought for its wonderful fat-burning and physique-sculpting capability.

    Winstrol has a deceptively low androgenic score of 30 (2) which doesn’t correlate in real-life situations.

    Winstrol is usually utilized by girls seeking to increase muscle mass, fat burning and endurance.
    With Anavar being a type of exogenous testosterone, it’ll additionally enhance fat
    loss, like different anabolic steroids. As a result of the truth that
    Anavar does not aromatize, all of that weight gain will be lean, water-free muscle tissue.
    Each Anavar and Winstrol can cause unwanted side effects, but they’re usually gentle in comparability with
    other steroids. Anavar is known to trigger a lower in HDL (good) cholesterol levels, while Winstrol could cause a rise in LDL (bad) levels of cholesterol.

    Anavar also can trigger adverse effects that can reduce well-being in customers,
    such as male sample baldness or benign prostatic hyperplasia.
    Additionally, users are advised to get their ALT and AST ranges checked pre-cycle to make sure they’re in a traditional range.
    Before taking Anavar do your analysis, look online, not simply at articles but at
    printed on-line medical journals. Have a look on boards,
    see what individuals assume, what results did they achieve?

    Look at the constructive stories however have a look at the negative stories too, and make a decision based on what you’re feeling comfortable
    with. As i’m sure you’re conscious there are hundreds of different varieties of steroids out there except for Anavar.

    As Trenbolone can linger in your system for months and even years, PCT
    won’t essentially restore normal testosterone function. Cruising on TRT doses
    of testosterone is commonly wanted after using Trenbolone as an alternative of
    a regular PCT. Regardless of your stack plans, Turinabol ought to all the time
    be used with a testosterone base for males. With Tbol not aromatizing into estradiol, males will expertise crashed
    estrogen and all the unpleasant signs with out this base of testosterone.
    These who don’t prefer it suppose it’s too weak to hassle using, and that’s fair sufficient.
    It won’t be a Dianabol for bulking, nor will or not it’s like Winstrol
    for slicing or contest prep.
    Take it from somebody who HAS USED STEROIDS earlier than and can examine results!!
    This supplement is much simpler for your wallet, body, and recovery than most different
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    Argentina, Paraguay, Greece, and Spain are also locations for pharma-grade Stanozolol manufacturing.
    The results that females can get from Winstrol can differ substantially from those of men. It’s no surprise since
    Winstrol is based on the dihydrotestosterone (DHT) hormone, an androgen answerable for males developing the
    characteristics that make them men. It won’t deliver a couple of complete shutdown by itself, however
    you’ll have to add a testosterone steroid to any Winstrol cycle
    as a end result of low testosterone is a certainty
    in any other case. PCT is a must-do after using Winstrol to get your testosterone function back
    on monitor. Following frequent sense guidelines may also
    assist shield your liver throughout a Winstrol cycle – avoid
    all alcohol and check out not to use any medications until necessary,
    as many are also liver-toxic.
    Previously, we cited a examine that said men taking 20 mg a day for 12 weeks experienced a 45% lower in testosterone ranges.
    This was an excessive cycle length, with a standard cycle length
    of 6–8 weeks for males. From this research,
    we can conclude that pure testosterone production is likely to stay pretty excessive if a reasonable dose or cycle is carried out.
    Turinabol is probably the most potent oral anabolic steroid with a unique history.
    It is the only anabolic steroid that’s created for non-medical purposes.
    Turinabol was developed by East Germany’s athletics staff and
    gained unfair advantages in the Olympic Video Games between 1968 to 1989.
    In the 1990s, it finally became recognized
    that turinabol was the secret steroid compound behind the
    ‘East German Doping Machine.
    Most Masteron customers may also see a better boost to the libido than is normally experienced with Anavar.
    On the downside for Masteron, it dries out the joints and can trigger joint ache, whereas Anavar may be joint supportive to a level.
    Once again, if you’re delicate or don’t want to danger it, persist with the
    newbie plans listed above. If you’re caught using Winstrol and Anavar’s cycle, you
    can face serious penalties if the authorities find out.

    The above are only a few side effects Winstrol and Anavar cycle could cause.

    Additionally, it’s essential to closely monitor side effects in the course of
    the PCT part. Since Winstrol is understood for its slightly worse unwanted
    effects on cholesterol levels compared to Anavar,
    I recommend staying vigilant about any changes
    to your well-being. General, monitoring the cycle’s length is essential to reduce potential unwanted facet effects and
    ensure optimum outcomes.
    In common, the Anavar a half of the cycle is meant to concentrate on boosting strength and total endurance while Winstrol primarily helps in fats reduction and muscle tightening.
    Moving on to the utilization, beginners often start with the oral kind, given its ease of administration in comparability with injections.
    As a newbie, a low dosage is typically advised to permit the body ample time to adjust to
    the substance’s results.
    A comparison desk for Anavar and Winstrol in cutting is introduced beneath, with columns for dosage,
    fats loss, muscle preservation, energy features, and unwanted side effects.
    Thus when evaluating unwanted effects we can conclude that both compounds will trigger antagonistic results.
    These who goal at fats loss and getting ripped can go for for clenbuterol, whereas winstrol
    is beneficial for people who discover themselves extra concerned with energy and size.
    Clenbuterol and winstrol will get rid of extra water retention within the body, making your muscle tissue look extra dry and outlined.
    As a result, increased vascularity can often be experienced from a winny or clen cycle.
    Results with Winstrol are brief and sharp, and when used correctly, you’ll come away with
    a positive expertise and satisfying outcomes from a Winstrol
    cycle. Nevertheless, it’s nonetheless
    wise to restrict the time spent stacking Winny and Anavar to brief
    lengths and the doses reasonable.
    This is the outcome of significantly elevated testosterone ranges, which winstrol
    also causes. The reason why I imagine Zac took winstrol was as a result of he’s gained muscle, burned a significant amount of fat and is dryer than Gandhi’s flip flop.
    Because estrogen levels don’t rise on winstrol, this also eliminates the
    chance of growing gyno. As a outcome you’ll look super dry and
    ripped, enhancing muscle tone and bringing out muscle striations you may not have
    seen earlier than. You know, I would not advocate using either of these
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  2. Failing to manage a PCT may end in users experiencing low testosterone
    signs for several months. This is partly as a outcome of Dianabol being a
    potent oral steroid, which is notorious for worsening cholesterol levels because it stimulates hepatic lipase within the liver.
    Dianabol, being an oral steroid, will trigger liver toxicity; thus,
    it shouldn’t be taken for an prolonged interval.

    Our patients usually take a liver support complement (such as
    TUDCA) to prevent ALT and AST enzymes from rising
    too excessive. Thus, we discover androgenic side effects to be notably less on Dianabol; nevertheless, it is slightly extra efficacious for muscle and strength gains.

    Sorry to bust out the cliché get-ripped-by-summer subject that’s so common in the fitness industry.
    Nonetheless, given var’s capability that can assist you preserve muscle
    features throughout chopping, this is a good drug for the beach-goers who must drop some
    weight earlier than summer season with out sacrificing lean muscle
    mass. Embarking on a cycle with Oxandrolone, otherwise
    often recognized as Anavar, requires cautious consideration and respect for your body’s boundaries.

    While it’s typically considered gentle when in comparability with other anabolic steroids, the incorrect method can still pose risks.
    Let’s talk about the types of cycles that ladies should steer clear of with Oxandrolone.
    Even though Oxandrolone, also recognized as Anavar, is a well-liked choice amongst feminine bodybuilders for its mild results compared to different steroids, prioritizing safety is essential.

    For most outcomes, users should minimize alcohol consumption throughout
    a cycle. Nevertheless, low portions of alcohol are unlikely to have an effect on a user’s results considerably.
    Most anabolic steroids bought on the black market are UGL (underground laboratories).

    This is actually produced in a non-certified laboratory and poses
    a excessive risk to the consumer, as there are not any rules in place to make sure product safety.

    Nevertheless, in small and cautious dosages, we have seen females expertise high-quality results with
    minimal antagonistic effects. A big purpose why people are so interested within the Anavar steroid is as
    a result of it actually cleans up muscle gains (no water retention)
    and provides definition. And this is glorious for guys who’ve added some mass, but
    desire a more-defined look.
    Respecting your physique means knowing when to
    pause, when to stop, and when to keep away from sure practices.
    Correct workout routines, a balanced food plan, and ample
    rest are still the cornerstones of successful bodybuilding.
    Oxandrolone or any other supplement ought to ethically help your journey
    and not threat your overall well-being. This is as a
    result of Anavar (oxandrolone) is an artificial steroid that behaves equally to testosterone.

    Bodybuilders usually use Primobolan for slicing cycles, and the explanation for that is to stop a bodybuilders
    worst nightmare – muscle loss. This is important as a outcome of so as to create an anabolic surroundings in the body,
    the place new muscle tissue is being synthesized, a constructive nitrogen balance is crucial.
    Daniel Louwrens is a well-rounded fitness skilled with over 10 years of experience in bodybuilding and fitness.
    He holds a BSc in Chemistry from the University of Western Cape and is an authorized International Personal
    Coach and Nutritionist. With his data and expertise, he supplies
    customized training, diet, and recovery steerage to help
    purchasers reach their health objectives.
    Testosterone is a compound you want to be more cautious when taking, as
    it will trigger your cholesterol levels to shift in a unfavorable method (LDL ranges increasing).
    Certain supplements may help lower your LDL cholesterol levels, or deliver your blood stress again right down to regular.

    Nevertheless, Anavar is not considered an particularly potent bulking agent
    for male bodybuilders and it is much more popular as a slicing agent.
    The method also balances hormones levels, will increase testosterone, and heightens sexual arousal, stamina, and
    performance.
    Emphasizing the effectiveness of Oxandrolone, generally often known as Anavar, underscores the
    significance of its secure and accountable utilization in reaching
    desired outcomes. Although in the end the precise dosage will depend upon particular person factors, together with but not
    restricted to, physique weight, fitness goals, and total health status, a general steering may
    be offered. While Oxandrolone, generally generally known as Anavar, offers many advantages,
    it’s essential to grasp it’s not with out
    drawbacks. Prolonged or extreme use can potentially lead to liver
    harm, stressing the significance of managed utilization and acceptable relaxation intervals.
    On a physiological level, these bodybuilders often expertise typical muscle restoration instances.
    This means they’ve to allow for normal relaxation durations between intense workout
    periods to stop overtraining and injury. Without the help of any
    performance-enhancing substances like Anavar, they
    may also discover it challenging to push their strength to new heights as
    they gradually reach their personal plateaus.
    Post-Cycle Therapy (PCT) plays a vital function in guaranteeing a
    clean restoration after an Oxandrolone cycle. It includes the usage of
    specific substances and protocols designed to restore natural hormone
    production and mitigate potential side effects. Earlier Than embarking on an Anavar cycle, it’s essential to undertake sure preparatory
    measures to make sure a secure and effective expertise.

    This elevation in BMR can contribute to fat loss by using saved physique fat as an vitality source.
    Though most customers tend to make use of it as a compound for the upkeep of muscle mass during a hypocaloric fats loss cycle, its
    use in reality extends far beyond that. As A Outcome Of of Anavar’s energy
    being that of three times Testosterone, it is rather properly attainable for Anavar to be successfully
    utilized as a mass gaining (or even a bulking) agent.
    In comparability to compounds sometimes used as bulking agents, such as Dianabol,
    Anavar holds the benefit of zero estrogenic exercise.

    However, it is very important observe, people should adhere to the recommended
    dosage and use the complement responsibly to expect these sorts
    of transformations. After all, like any other fitness supplement, Oxandrolone
    is handiest when paired with a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine.
    Performance enhancement is one other significant profit linked to
    Oxandrolone. This supplement presents increased endurance and
    the power to work out more durable and longer, both key components to attaining
    bodybuilding aims. While indications point in the course of the Oxandrolone tablets being
    gentle on the physique, it’s essential to remember everyone is unique.

    Anavar (Oxandrolone) is a well-liked anabolic steroid known for its potential to ship vital results when it
    comes to muscle definition, energy improvement, enhanced
    endurance, and fats loss. When used responsibly and
    as a half of a well-rounded health regimen, Anavar can help people obtain their desired physique and efficiency targets.
    In this section, we are going to explore the idea of Anavar
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  3. (6) Schroeder, E. T., Zheng, L., Ong, M. D., Martinez, C., Flores, C., Stewart,
    Y., Azen, C., & Sattler, F. R. Effects of androgen remedy
    on adipose tissue and metabolism in older males. The Journal of medical endocrinology
    and metabolism, 89(10), 4863–4872. (4) Schroeder, E.
    T., Zheng, L., Ong, M. D., Martinez, C., Flores, C., Stewart, Y., Azen, C., &
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    On the draw back for Masteron, it dries out the
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    Anavar has a profit here and may even have a more constructive impact on your tendons and joints.
    Once again, in case you are sensitive or don’t need
    to danger it, persist with the beginner plans listed above.
    Chosen from knowledge included with permission and copyrighted by
    First Databank, Inc.
    It’s fun to take a look at earlier than and after photos of individuals who’ve used Anavar, but this tells us nothing about any positive aspects in power they’ve skilled on the cycle.

    If you needed to ask me right now what the most effective legal different to taking steroids is, Anvarol is my reply.

    Take it from someone who HAS USED STEROIDS earlier than and
    may examine results!! This supplement is far
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    So, we know that Anavar is insanely efficient at delivering
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    This is as a outcome of the drug is metabolized by the liver, and
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    Anavar can enhance your blood’s LDL cholesterol
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    making them much less likely to break. This can be extraordinarily beneficial
    for athletes and older adults who are in danger for fractures.
    Additionally, Anavar additionally helps increase your power levels,
    making staying lively and burning off much more calories easier.

    It remains as one of many few anabolic steroids nonetheless permitted by the FDA.

    However, like with something in life you’ll always get some sensitive individuals or those who select
    to overdose. ALL anabolic steroids will shut down testosterone
    levels to different extents. How much you’ll be shut you down will vary, relying on which steroid you take.
    One of the explanation why Anavar’s so popular
    is because its unwanted effects are very delicate,
    compared to other anabolic steroids. Thus, Anavar is taken into account a ‘safer’ steroid after a long time of trials and analysis.

    Whereas Anavar has delicate pure testosterone suppression results,
    it not often totally suppresses and even suppresses at half the natural ranges.
    Hence, the decrease in SHBG continues to be highly beneficial no matter your testosterone levels when using this steroid.
    No, the sky-high anabolic score of Anavar doesn’t translate
    to it being a powerful muscle builder.
    Being that it’s three – 6 times the anabolic strength of Testosterone, Anavar cycles can indeed be bulking cycles without issue.
    For the feminine efficiency enhancing athlete, regardless of
    the purpose of use, 5-10mg per day is normally the right dose.
    If more is desired and 10mg per day has been well-tolerated, 15mg per day may be tried the following go around.
    Nevertheless, every enhance in dosing will increase the danger of virilization.
    As with many other anabolic steroids, this steroid is on the prohibited listing of
    the World Anti-Doping Company and is a Schedule III controlled substance in the Usa.
    Nonetheless, opposite to anavar, wild yam root HAS shown to extend HDL levels of
    cholesterol and improve cardiovascular well being. At first glance it’s honest to say these ingredients are very weak for a pure
    fat-burner (especially one claiming to replicate the effects of anavar).
    In future Anavar cycles, 20mg could additionally be used from the 1st week onward; and the
    length of a cycle could also be increased to eight weeks.

    A PCT just isn’t usually used to assist restore testosterone levels from an anavar-only cycle,
    as most people tolerate the drug very properly.
    If you expertise any changes in your skin colour
    whereas taking Anavar, you should report them to your doctor.

    In most instances, the discoloration will resolve by itself when you
    cease taking the medicine. When these levels are increased, your sebaceous glands produce extra sebum.
    Power ranges are essential in sports activities, fitness, and bodybuilding for a quantity of causes.

    A heart-healthy food regimen, common cardiovascular train,
    and consistent monitoring can help mitigate these results (Glazer, Medical
    Science in Sports and Exercise). A clinical-strength nighttime formula for testosterone assist, deep sleep, and
    hormonal restoration. Perfect for managing cortisol and enhancing anabolic
    output during PCT. The substitution of the second carbon with an oxygen atom increases the
    stability of the 3-keto group, enhancing anabolic exercise.
    Oral exercise is further supported by the 17α-methyl substitution, which protects the compound from breakdown in the
    liver. It’s additionally important that you do not take
    this treatment if you’re pregnant. This medicine could cause start
    defects and probably hurt your unborn youngster.

    Navigating the world of Anavar dosages as
    a newbie may seem daunting, but with the proper information, you can set your self up for success.
    Keep In Mind, responsible utilization, gradual dosage
    changes, and shut monitoring of your body’s response are key.
    Proper diet and sufficient protein intake are essential for maximizing the advantages of Anavar.
    However, it is essential to keep in thoughts that the dosage may range
    relying on several elements similar to age, weight, gender,
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