Dad (written in my younger days)

I searched for you in other people only to leave me broken by disappointment. I craved for our relationship but it was stolen by the hands of someone else. I dreamed of you at night and you would tell me that, “I am not far, just keep holding on, things will get better.” I needed guidance, and a shield to protect me from all of the intruders. The intruders that would identify with my emptiness and use it to their own advantage, but instead my weakness became a benefit to others. Where are you?
You promised me protection, you said everything you were working for was for us. Blocked by so much denial I would tell myself I was in a coma and I just haven’t woke as yet, and when I would finally wake, you would be right there by my bedside holding my hand. I would be this age now and you would be your age. I want to believe I am dreaming but the reality of it is, that I am not. I am awake, I’m alive and breathing, but you are not. Where are you?
I wanted to feel that love again, the one that lives with no insecurities, no fear, no hate, no emptiness. My first love in a man was you, you reassured me that I was divine. You made me know I deserved only the best, because you provided it to me without a doubt. Where are you? I needed you.
Wherever you are I want you to know I am still holding on.
Love Always