Part 2: Broken From What?

My journey / May 30, 2016 / 65 Comments

What I realized is that most people who are broken are not even aware that they are broken. Many times we feel we have it all together, but in reality, there are areas in our lives that really just do not seem to come together. I can testify to this: it is how I became aware of my brokenness.

When I realized I was broken, I went on a journey to further discover myself. I began to piece together things in my life in order to help me make sense of where I had ended up. Whether in a relationship, my career or my lifestyle, I had come to understand how I had arrived at my current position. The more I understood things, the more able I was to make better decisions. Whether or not my decisions were acceptable to other people, I had developed such a profound understanding of myself, my life and my path that others’ opinions were no longer as relevant as they had once been.

I realize now, in hindsight, that I was broken from a young age. Broken became my subconscious norm, and I had no control over it until I hit my twenties. What made me broken? I settled for what I knew I did not deserve. That was my first indication that some part of me was shattered. I put myself in situations that were unhappy, especially when it came to relationships.

I found myself caught up in a lot of relationship drama. I was a mess and a bit miserable. Even when I would pull myself out of these soap opera moments, I would move on and find myself right back in a similar situation. Can you imagine such a vicious cycle?!

Now, looking back, I can identify that I had allowed and accepted this mistreatment of myself. These intense situations felt normal, they were nothing different from what I knew, so I was comfortable right where I was. But, after a while, that sense of comfort no longer made me happy or made me feel good about myself. I was fed up and tired with the drama, the lack of love, the giving more and receiving less and, most of all, I was tired of the bullshit. I needed to know why I was so regularly caught in these moments of disappointment, and in different aspects of my life. It is crazy how your gut can tell you that you deserve better, yet what you know to be true and what you actually do, do not add up.

After acknowledging what made me a broken person, I had to figure out why it made me a broken person.

Tune in next week to the final part of this series – Part 3: Broken & Why?

65 thoughts on “Part 2: Broken From What?”

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